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A legal aid & start-up fundraiser in support of this.womans.truth
(6 minute read)
In 2015, I survived a near-fatal assault. When I sought justice, the Canadian system failed me at every turn. Now, I’m fighting back—not just for myself, but for every survivor of gender-based violence left without support. Here’s how you can help.
My Carrie Bradshaw Moment Isn’t “A Woman’s Right to Shoes”—It’s “A Victim’s Right to Choose.”
Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie’s Manolo Blahniks are stolen while she’s at a baby shower? Frustrated by society’s failure to celebrate single women the way it does marriage and motherhood, she decides to ‘marry herself’ and registers at Manolo Blahnik so she can get her shoes replaced by her friend. The episode was called A Woman’s Right to Shoes.
I’ve never had a housewarming, engagement party, bridal shower, hen’s night, wedding, or baby shower. At 38, I don’t know if I ever will. But instead of gifts or congratulations, I’m asking for something more urgent: Safety and Justice.
My Story
On January 1, 2015, I (@this.womans.truth), survived a near-fatal strangulation at the hands of my then-partner while in Italy. I didn’t report it at the time—I was very much in shock, dealing with a language barrier, needing to catch a train within hours, and haunted by the memories of the Amanda Knox case.
When I returned to Canada, I went to the police. Their advice? Just move on.
A year and a half and some counselling later, I was ready to press charges. But I faced a harsh reality:
The officer I spoke to hadn’t filed a police report, in fact he hadn’t even started a file.
He failed to inform me that Italy had a soon-to-expire statute of limitations (whereas in Canada, there is no statute for indictable offences).
The police department I’d turned to was, itself, under internal investigation for (founded) workplace sexual harassment, and sexual misconduct, as well as alleged sexual assault. The officer I’d spoke with had since retired.
Way to go, law enforcement.
The Justice System Failed Me—Again and Again
Because I was a victim of a cross-border crime, I wasn’t eligible for BC’s Crime Victim Assistance Program (CVAP), which would have provided some long term income support, therapy, and medical care—offering up to $365,000 in lifetime benefits.
Instead, I fell into a bureaucratic bucket called Financial Assistance for Canadians Victimized Abroad managed by the federal government. My total support? $5,000 for therapy. When that ran out? Another $5,000. That was it.
Strangulation isn’t just serious violence. In some countries, it’s legally defined as torture. It doesn’t just leave bruises—it rewires the brain. It’s a slow-motion execution, and survivors live with the damage long after the hands are gone.
“Every second the brain is deprived of oxygen, millions of brain cells die. So by rendering someone unconscious, you are inducing brain damage.” “Loss of consciousness can occur within 5-10 seconds. Death can occur within minutes and brain damage somewhere in between.” [Strack, G., McClane, G., & Hawley, D. (2001). A Review of 300 Attempted Strangulation Cases: Part I: Criminal Legal Issues. Journal of Emergency Medicine, 21(3). 303-309].
Sorry to get so real with ya.
For the majority of five years I struggled, severely, with PTSD: triggers, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, regular anxiety attacks, chronic pain, and phantom pain. For three years I couldn’t even sleep on the regular side of my bed.
My career suffered. My credit tanked. My car was repossessed. My spirit was defeated.
I’ll pause now for a moment of levity—and reference back to that episode of Sex in the City… all of this was quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) going on for me while I showed up to engagement parties, showers, hens nights, weddings, and baby showers for about eight of my dear friends over the course of a couple years. So Carrie, girl—I get it.
Ultimately the straw that broke the camels back, was when I found out my ex had moved back to BC. Not only that, he was now living in the apartment across the courtyard from a close friend of mine.
I’ve been asked on a few occasions what Justice would look like for me. Over the course of ten years that answer has definitely looked different at different times. At one point, though, I desperately wanted a warrant for his arrest here in BC, at least then he wouldn’t have been been anywhere near me.
Adding insult to injury, for four years, I was denied Disability Assistance—because in B.C., eligibility is based on gross income, not net. Even though recipients can still work while on disability.
Here’s where it gets even more infuriating:
Had I been a citizen of any North or South American country—except Canada and the U.S.—my case could have been transferred home for prosecution. Canada and the U.S. are the only two countries in the Americas that refuse to sign the Inter-American Convention to Prevent and Punish Torture (1987).
If Canada had signed, or would ratify, my case could have been transferred home for prosecution. But because it hasn’t—and because Canada has yet to criminalize non-state torture—I was left without legal recourse. That’s the legal reality I’m fighting to challenge and asking for your support with.
The Fight for Justice
In 2019, the former Federal Ombudsperson for Victims of Crime called attention to the issue of lack of support for Canadian victims of cross border violence but unfortunately only through the lens of terrorism and mass violence victims. Within the same year, INVICTM (International Network Supporting Victims of Terrorism and Mass Violence) was established. Great work—but unfortunately this only further marginalizes victims of gender-based violence and non-state torture.
Last week in Canada a newly appointed Prime Minister reformed cabinet and with that, removed the seats of Minister for Women and Gender Equity and Minister for Diversity, Inclusion and Persons with Disability.
With that move, we see that the Canadian government continues to turn its attention away from baseline policies to protect human rights for women and minorities.
Within the same week, remains of yet another Indigenous woman were found in the Prairie Green landfill. In fact, of Canada’s deadliest massacres since 1949 (when a man blew up an entire plane killing 23 people so he could marry his mistress and obtain life insurance money), 36% of the last 19 Canadian massacres involve IPV or GBV.
Today, 44% of Canadian women and 61% of Indigenous women experience IPV. With an additional 1-in-3 women experiencing sexual violence.
So, I’m asking you to stand with me. Not to fund a Carrie Bradshaw-level shoe addiction and lifestyle—but to help me afford counselling, lost income, and legal fees as I fight to hold our government and institutions accountable.
This process has felt like a never-ending stack of re-victimizing pancakes, but I refuse to let the system continue to fail victims like me. I refuse to let Canada posture itself as though this isn’t happening. That we don’t all know better by now.
I am grateful to have the expertise of legendary human rights law firm Arvay Finlay LLP—the same firm that helped make same-sex marriage legal in Canada and has devoutly defended Indigenous, environmental, and human rights. With your support, together we will challenging the systemic failures that leave me— and so many others—without justice.
The Bigger Picture
Maybe it’s only fitting that the same week our newly appointed Prime Minister removed a cabinet seat for Minister for Women and Gender Equality, I found the courage to make this website and GoFundMe public.
According to Ashley Burke of CBC News, “Anuradha Dugal, executive director of Women's Shelters Canada, says for more than 60 years there's been a status of women minister and folding the portfolio under another minister's responsibilities sets back decades of work. ‘Including us in a ministry that is now called Canadian identity I think also undermines the responsibility to fulfil the full rights of women and gender diverse people at a time when they're under threat globally.’ ‘Other advocacy groups worry if ministers are dealing with multiple portfolios, they'll have to triage priorities and their files will fall to the wayside.”
I urge you to also sign and share this Change.org petition: Reinstate the Canadian Ministers of Gender Equity and DEI: A Call for Inclusive Leadership. Because with:
44% of Canadian women experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV)
1 in 3 women experiencing sexual assault
One Canadian woman is murdered every 2.5 days by someone they know
…it’s clear we need more focused leadership on these issues, not less.
What’s Next?
With your support, I will continue to fight for victims’ rights—not just for myself, but for other survivors of gender-based violence (GBV) and non-state torture.
In the coming months, This Woman’s Truth hopes to announce partnerships with registered Canadian charities in the women’s not for profit space and traumatic brain injury research for those affected by strangulation and GBV.
We’ll continue to launch bi-annual social awareness campaigns and fundraisers (in November for International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and Girls and in March for International Women’s Day) to provide financial aid and legal support to other victims like me—those left without a safety net.
To date, my proudest achievements as a victims’ rights advocate—in both Canada and Italy—have been seeing Canada strengthen its strangulation laws after I brought forward U.S. research through the Institute for Strangulation Prevention to the Canadian Department of Justice. In Italy, I successfully lobbied to Rome’s legal advisor to the UK Ambassador for an extension to the statute of limitations on GBV cases. But my work is far from done.
Join Me
If you can help this somehow make its way to Sarah Jessica Parker, that would be amazing. But more importantly, if this reaches you—someone who believes in justice for survivors and a safer Canada for women and girls—I ask you to:
Donate to help fund my legal battle and ongoing recovery.
Share this story to raise awareness of cross-border victimization.
Sign the petition demanding government take action on GBV—starting with the reintroduction of a dedicated Minister for Women and Gender Equity.
Thank you for standing with me in this fight. No survivor should have to yell this loud, this publicly, just to survive. And no government facing a crisis this big should be arrogant enough to treat women’s safety like an afterthought—or to think our rights can be handed off to a male Minister like a bureaucratic footnote.
— This Woman’s Truth
